Whenever I sit alone.. I start getting the memory flashes of how we grew up together, how I learnt so much form her, how pretty she was and in such brutal circumstances she passed away. A Letter to her, for she could have talked…
Where do I take this infliction in my heart,
Where do I go to find my shining Star…
These three years have moved at their pace, but my life stood still. Why you didn’t talk..?!. when your heart was engulfed with those harsh words, why you didn’t look around. I wasn’t away, we always loved you more than the world.
First day when you were told that you are not beautiful enough for their son, you should have told them to go and look for some mirrors..
The day you were told, you ain’t a cook that good, you should have stopped cooking.
The day you were told, your family is a disgrace, you should have called it a time-out.
The day you were told to kill every happy nerve in you…YOU SHOULD HAVE MOVED OUT..!!
I can’t forget those uncomfortable eyes across the Tea Fumes. Today, when I sit and realise what they were looking for, there is no use of extending hands. You are gone too far to come back and hold it.
I can’t forget that restless voice when you couldn’t find his T-shirt. That wasn’t a crime, why were you being punished? We couldn’t imagine those cuts on your hands, were deliberately made when a glass accidentally broke by you.
They were socially insecure for they couldn’t be as amazing as you were, for you were too good for them, for we loved you so much.They were just jealous of the people you’re closest to, also your dreams and goals because they wanted to control all aspects of your life. All you needed was reaching out to us just once, we were right there, beside you. Only we couldn’t realise when you went into that deep black hole alone. You shouldn’t have agreed upon being a prisoner in your own house.
I wish I knew it then, I would have reminded you of how good you were, I would have been with you, not for a minute, not for a day but for every second that followed. Their statement of we won’t support you was not true my heart. We are family, we are friends and we were bonded together.
Wherever you are today,
we still think of you,
we miss you.”
Emotional abuse, takes away many more lives. When we don’t see the bruises from outside, we tend to stay quite, its there personal matter. The emotional abuse usually gets enlarged as physical abuse as well.
Few People are born that way. They will hate you if you are beautiful or if you are not so beautiful, if you are successful or if you are not so successful. They will hate you if you are right or even if you are wrong. They will hate you if you are popular or also if your a back stage person. They will hate you when you get attention. They will hate you when people in their life like you. They will hate you if you have courage. They will hate you if you have an opinion. They will hate you when people support you. And they will do this while they post prayers and religious quotes on Facebook for you. All they know is how to hate and hurt.
P.S. : This blog is also a part of the Blogathon series #ALettertoher started by Women’s Web to create awareness on domestic abuse and asking for help is a good way to get out of it.
I would personally refer the book When I Hit You by Meena Kendasamy – At once the chronicle of an abusive marriage and a celebration of the invincible power of art, This book is a smart, fierce and courageous take on traditional wedlock in modern India.
Always talk and reach out for help if needed