Till my Pregnancy… All I knew about parenting was cleaning poop, changing a diaper, bathing a little human, beautiful photo shoots, easily soothing a crying baby, maybe few sleepless hours and humming favorite lullabies…
BUT on 25th Nov’2014 at 2pm, my perception changed.
It was then I realized, all that my mom was trying to prepare me for was a much more like a roller coaster ride. That day was exactly how you shoot off when on a roller coaster, not realizing initially whats exactly happening, That little squish in stomach telling you might not handle it and will throw up., that rush of joy sometimes that makes you feel you are having the best time,, then suddenly a head spin telling world is going to fall down on you . Somewhere in between, you get an air blow right in your face that takes your breath away and then you feel you are enjoying and you let your hands go… And then comes the time, when it gets smooth, about to come to a rest and you sit just thinking “Woowww..!! that was actually the time of my life., and I would love to do it again, maybe”
That’s how actual parenting is, so many times you think you will give up, throw up or won’t make it, but then the most beautiful times take over and you realize you are at the best stage of life. Every age, every turn is different, is scary, is tough but more than that it’s beautiful and rewarding.
So like on a rollercoaster ride, there are few essentials you keep in mind, For parenting as well, we all have our essentials, that will help the ride to be the most amazing one.
That 1 Essential that has been working best for me is ” BALANCE” (as cliched as it may sound).
There are 2 many important roles of a parent when it comes to bringing up a disciplined and responsible kid.
NURTURE is what we all do as a parent. Loving the little ones, taking care of all their needs, understanding them, giving time and support, etc.
This builds an individual with good self-worth, self-love and they also learn how to tackle difficult situations. Kids develop good self-esteem and understand how important it is to listen.
But again we need to be Balances while providing nurture,
Too Much NURTURE, means you may be overly protective, too responsive to your children’s needs, and too involved in their lives. This works adversely on a child’s Psychology making them less considerate of others feelings, stubborn and also they lack in taking care of themselves.
Conversely, Less of NURTURE, makes kids feel less loved and they find it difficult to trust people and have healthy relationships in life. A kid needs to be heard and responded with enough love.
Building STRUCTURE, on the other hand, is how we build a responsible individual. It’s when we set positive, pro-active, and respectful personal boundaries, bring up discipline and give responsibilities to the kids. A good structure is required to make children a responsible and self caring individuals.
Too Much STRUCTURE on one hand can make kids stubborn, rebellious or insensitive. Harsh punishments, strict limits, continuous scolds can lead to overly structured parenting.
Conversely, Less of STRUCTURE might make kids confused and irresponsible. Setting Limits make them understand that not everything can go their way. Giving them responsibility makes them feel grown up and confident.
We have tried to give some space to our girls, few things that they can decide.
They are 4 today and they can change their clothes, eat food themselves, know that screen time is limited. But they also know that Mom loves them beyond limits and that they can come upto me for tiniest of things.
To bring up a Loving, Caring , Sensitive and responsible kid.. This balance between Nurture and Structure is what we require the most. The pre-requisite for this balance is looking at the picture more widely using both our heart and mind.
I think maintaining a balance between what my heart wants do for them and where my mind has to take the lead to set a limit works good for us.
Let me know what you think about this.
“I would like to thank Surbhi for introducing me in the Momology Blog Train. You can read more about his/her work at surbhiprapanna.com.
Also I would like to introduce Noor Anand who blogs at Nooranandchawla.com who is also on board with us and lets see what all she has to share for her Parenting Mantra
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